You wait around for an ebook…

Then a handful come all at the same time.

August 1st will see the launch of two of Cally’s new works and the publishing on Kobo in epub format of five ebooks.

A Week With No Labels (published under the new Guerrilla Midgie imprint)  adds to the existing Monday to Friday. It just wasn’t enough for some readers, so now you can journey with No Labels right through the weekend!

 

 

 

 

It Wisnae Me 

The follow up to HoAmPresst’s best selling ebook collection VOICES IN MA HEID.  

Still written in Scots, still the same dark humour, but this time it’s personal!

 

 

 

With the launch of Kobo Writing Life epublishing just got easier. Now it’s possible to reach a much wider audience and HoAmPresst have embraced this by releasing a handful of ebooks on Kobo from 1st August.

Brand Loyalty, Chasing Waves, Voices in Ma Heid, It Wisnae Me and A Week with No Labels on Kobo format. This is an open format that you can use if you DON’T own a Kindle but still want to take advantage of the freedom and versatility of ebooks.

For all of Cally’s publications go to her AMAZON AUTHOR PAGE 

Since when was PROBABLY good enough…

… IN SCIENCE

I’ve long bored people with my theory that ‘science is stories’ (it’s my alternative to my  ‘I don’t believe in money’ conversation which tends towards my other ‘I don’t believe…. in =) one.  Forgive me if I’m wrong but I could swear that when I was learning ‘science’ it was important to come up with something more than PROBABLY as a result. (I mean, I know that we have probability theory but I didn’t think that meant we’ve probably found something was cause for global celebration!)  In that case I think I PROBABLY should have got more than a D for O Grade Physics thanks.  And PROBABLY more than an E for O Grade Maths (not that I’m bitter!) And thank you, I got an A for O Grade Arithmetic – and English, Latin, History, French. And a B for Chemistry. Which makes me think I PROBABLY won’t get the nobel prize for Chemistry any time soon.  But I can read and write ( in a number of langauges living and dead, and I know about the past and can count well enough to run a bank!

Well, you’ll guess that what I’m on about here is the great PROBABLY discovery of Higgs Boson aka The God Particle (if that doesn’t suggest to you that there may be more to my theory of the ‘storied’ nature of science than you might have given credence for earlier….)  I mean. Come on. We’ve PROBABLY found it?  Well guys you’ve been looking for long enough and after that much time it does seem  to suggest to me that you are ATTRIBUTING a name/identity to something rather than actually DISCOVERING something.   But if you’ve really come up with the answer you’ve been looking for I’m going to need somethimg more than PROBABLY for proof guys.

While we’re waiting for them to finish the story, I’d suggest you download a bit of DRAMA – My stageplay (2004) CHASING WAVES is all about probably, and boxes in all their forms and characters who don’t know they aren’t real – and probably has Wittgenstein and Schrodinger as characters. I’m allowed to play with PROBABLY’S because I’m a dramatist.  I work in COUNTERFACTUALS – if only this then…  it’s allowed in drama. In science? Not so sure.

You can read the review By Jan Needle on IEBR HERE. And download the play in Kindle format HERE for UK  (or HERE for US). Remember you don’t need a Kindle to read it, you can download the free app to view it on a range of platforms. As soon as Kobo get their act together for indie publishers it’ll be up there too.

AND for the next month Chasing Waves is available as an XTRA SPECIAL edition. It’s got not only the play but also Extras COME CHASING WAVES which details the background and the production process.  And a wee unpublished Absurdist play is in there too (Benito Boccanegra’s Big Break)  AND if this isn’t good enough I’ve taken the executive decision to SLASH the price until they DEFINITELY, MAYBE, TOTALLY find the Higgs Boson to MY satisfaction.  At least for the rest of this MONTH Chasing Waves will come in a the ridiculously low price of 99p.  or 99c. That’s a reduction from £1.49 and $2.99 PLUS THE EXTRAS!  It’s PROBABLY the best value ebook play featuring Higgs Boson  you’ll buy this month. (last time I looked Amazon have bunged 3p on it to make it £1.02… as soon as I can correct this and get it down to 99p I will!) 

Old blue eyes… just where is Higgs Boson?

And if that’s not good enough for you. I can now reveal that WE have PROBABLY found Higgs Boson here. The dogs ran away and spent an hour looking for it in the forest yesterday morning.

The search is on…

Hector came back in quite a state and spent the day in the vet. He’s still retching sporadically which suggests to me that he may have not only FOUND Higgs Boson, but in fact swallowed part of it! Time will tell.  But as long as we’re in the world of PROBABLY who’s to say this story isn’t as likely as the one CERN are feeding us.  (But we didn’t spend as much money PROBABLY finding it – the vets bill thankfully wasn’t anywhere near the ridiculous amounts of money they’ve spent on this rather large PROBABLY.)  And we’re more likely to get our money’s worth in my lifetime anyway!  Big flipping Bang. Yeah, right. Ain’t that what the banks have been doing to us for the past several years?

Cynical, moi? Probably.

I confess. It was me. I found Higgs Boson. And swallowed it. It was very tasty thanks.

Guerrilla’s need to plan…

I’m super busy at the moment preparing for the next big (or little Guerrilla Midgie sized) attack on the unsuspecting world of publishing which will happen in August. Watch spaces. Randomly. You never know where I’ll pop up next!

But why should the blog reader suffer? So I’m posting another short story up here to keep you going.  It’s a gesture inspired by a trio (or is that a trilogy) of inspirational men (in no particular order)  Terry who told me the archetypal story in the first place and whose loss I miss even after 10 years. Dan who is a new found inspiration even though I’ve never met him.  I applaud his energy, enthusiasm and commitment to so many important things that most people just ignore or forget about!  and George, my husband who is the daily inspiration giving me the support I need to WORK HARD and tell it like it is.  (He’s out fishing today as if  that’s not inspiration enough)   So without much more ado – here’s the story.

A FISHING LINE

A man was walking on a remote beach. He came across a girl cooking fish on an open fire. The fish smelt beautiful and he was overcome with desire to taste it. The girl, seeing his longing, offered him a bowl of the fish. It was moist and tender and quite unlike any fish he had ever tasted before, even though he had eaten at all the best restaurants and could afford all the most expensive dishes. When his bowl was empty he said to the girl, ‘I have never tasted fish like that before.’

She smiled and said nothing.

From that moment on, the man could think of nothing else but tasting the fish again. The next day he woke with an intense hunger. It was less a hunger of the belly than a hunger of the spirit. His hunger was for the fish, cooked by the girl oven an open fire. He walked down to the beach and in the distance he saw the girl fishing.  He stood and watched as she cast and played the large sea-rod. His anticipation grew along with her struggle, as she reeled the fish in. He watched her deftly gut and fillet the fish and place it on the fire to cook. His nostrils were filled once more with the delicious aroma. His whole body craved to taste the fish again.

He sat beside the girl as the fish cooked.

‘I would love to taste your fish again,’ he said. ‘What can I pay you for it?’

The girl smiled. ‘I do not pay the sea,’ she said and handed him a bowl of the freshly cooked fish.

Meal after meal the man came back to taste the wonderful fish, cooked over an open fire by the strangely beautiful girl who seemed to spend all her time fishing, cooking and tending her fire. No matter how many times he ate the fish, his hunger never abated and his thirst grew for understanding of the girl. He wanted to find a way to repay her but he did not know how to.

One day as they ate their fish together he said, ‘Your fish is so delicious I am sure it would fetch the highest price at the markets and would grace the tables of all the fashionable restaurants throughout the world. If you caught twenty or thirty a day instead of two or three…’

‘Why would I want to catch twenty or thirty fish a day?’ she asked.

‘With the money that you made from catching the fish you could buy things to make your life easier,’ he continued.

The girl looked at the man and smiled.

‘Two or three fish a day,’ she said, ‘is all I need. You suggest I should spend all my days fishing. How would that make life easier?’

‘Ah,’ the man replied, ‘but with the money you made you could employ other people to catch the fish for you. You wouldn’t have to work. You could take it easy, enjoy life.’

‘And how should I enjoy life?’ she asked.

‘Money buys freedom,’ he said. ‘You could go to the city, travel, do whatever you wanted.’

She smiled. ‘Eat fish at one of your expensive restaurants?’

The man felt that she was laughing at him. He was trying to help her and she did not seem to appreciate his advice.  He looked at her, saddened. Then he noticed that her face had lost its smile and had become serious.

‘So your advice is that I catch more fish, make money by selling the fish, with the money I make employ other people to do the fishing for me, leaving myself enough time to do whatever I want to with my life?’

‘Exactly,’ he replied. Finally, she had understood him.

‘But I do what I want now,’ she said. ‘I catch fish, I cook fish, I tend my fire. I can sit all day thinking, and all night looking at the stars. I do not have to bother with money or employees or profit, or whether I can afford to eat fish in a fancy restaurant. If I do all the things you say I will only end up where I already am. At best with more effort at worst less happy. What is the point of that?’

The man had no answer to her question. As he licked the rest of the fish from his fingers he realised that far from showing the girl a way that she could improve her life, she had perhaps shown him a way to improve his. He looked around the beach.

‘Let me stay here with you,’ he said. ‘Teach me to catch fish so that I too can sit by the fire and live as you do.’

The girl held silence for a time.

‘I catch fish, I cook fish and I eat fish,’ she said. ‘That is enough for me. But you crave fish, you dream of tasting fish, you want more and more and more. It is not the same.  You would not be happy with this life.

As she spoke, the aftertaste of the fish turned sour in the man’s mouth and he realised that she spoke the truth. As long as he stayed on the beach he would have an obsession, a craving which he could not fulfil. He would never be able to taste enough of the delicious fish and his life would become more and more miserable. He realised that the only thing for him to do was to leave the beach, leave the girl and never taste the fish again. He stood up, sad but somewhat wiser.

‘Think of me when you eat fish in one of your fancy restaurants,’ the girl said.

‘I will never eat fish in a restaurant again,’ he replied. ‘But I will think of you all the same.’

The man left the beach and only when the fire was a speck in the distance did he turn round to allow himself a last look at the girl with the perfect life.

As I intimated at the top of the page this story was inspired by and so is dedicated to the memory of Terry, (also known as Adam) who first told me the archetypal version of it and who changed my life. It has been published in various places over the years and featured in the novel ‘Brand Loyalty’. It is also a very strong influence on the forthcoming Trilogy in Four Parts, especially The One That Got Away.

For more about the inspirational Dan Holloway click here 

And the most important inspiration through the past 30 years – Thanks George!

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