Since when was PROBABLY good enough…

… IN SCIENCE

I’ve long bored people with my theory that ‘science is stories’ (it’s my alternative to my  ‘I don’t believe in money’ conversation which tends towards my other ‘I don’t believe…. in =) one.  Forgive me if I’m wrong but I could swear that when I was learning ‘science’ it was important to come up with something more than PROBABLY as a result. (I mean, I know that we have probability theory but I didn’t think that meant we’ve probably found something was cause for global celebration!)  In that case I think I PROBABLY should have got more than a D for O Grade Physics thanks.  And PROBABLY more than an E for O Grade Maths (not that I’m bitter!) And thank you, I got an A for O Grade Arithmetic – and English, Latin, History, French. And a B for Chemistry. Which makes me think I PROBABLY won’t get the nobel prize for Chemistry any time soon.  But I can read and write ( in a number of langauges living and dead, and I know about the past and can count well enough to run a bank!

Well, you’ll guess that what I’m on about here is the great PROBABLY discovery of Higgs Boson aka The God Particle (if that doesn’t suggest to you that there may be more to my theory of the ‘storied’ nature of science than you might have given credence for earlier….)  I mean. Come on. We’ve PROBABLY found it?  Well guys you’ve been looking for long enough and after that much time it does seem  to suggest to me that you are ATTRIBUTING a name/identity to something rather than actually DISCOVERING something.   But if you’ve really come up with the answer you’ve been looking for I’m going to need somethimg more than PROBABLY for proof guys.

While we’re waiting for them to finish the story, I’d suggest you download a bit of DRAMA – My stageplay (2004) CHASING WAVES is all about probably, and boxes in all their forms and characters who don’t know they aren’t real – and probably has Wittgenstein and Schrodinger as characters. I’m allowed to play with PROBABLY’S because I’m a dramatist.  I work in COUNTERFACTUALS – if only this then…  it’s allowed in drama. In science? Not so sure.

You can read the review By Jan Needle on IEBR HERE. And download the play in Kindle format HERE for UK  (or HERE for US). Remember you don’t need a Kindle to read it, you can download the free app to view it on a range of platforms. As soon as Kobo get their act together for indie publishers it’ll be up there too.

AND for the next month Chasing Waves is available as an XTRA SPECIAL edition. It’s got not only the play but also Extras COME CHASING WAVES which details the background and the production process.  And a wee unpublished Absurdist play is in there too (Benito Boccanegra’s Big Break)  AND if this isn’t good enough I’ve taken the executive decision to SLASH the price until they DEFINITELY, MAYBE, TOTALLY find the Higgs Boson to MY satisfaction.  At least for the rest of this MONTH Chasing Waves will come in a the ridiculously low price of 99p.  or 99c. That’s a reduction from £1.49 and $2.99 PLUS THE EXTRAS!  It’s PROBABLY the best value ebook play featuring Higgs Boson  you’ll buy this month. (last time I looked Amazon have bunged 3p on it to make it £1.02… as soon as I can correct this and get it down to 99p I will!) 

Old blue eyes… just where is Higgs Boson?

And if that’s not good enough for you. I can now reveal that WE have PROBABLY found Higgs Boson here. The dogs ran away and spent an hour looking for it in the forest yesterday morning.

The search is on…

Hector came back in quite a state and spent the day in the vet. He’s still retching sporadically which suggests to me that he may have not only FOUND Higgs Boson, but in fact swallowed part of it! Time will tell.  But as long as we’re in the world of PROBABLY who’s to say this story isn’t as likely as the one CERN are feeding us.  (But we didn’t spend as much money PROBABLY finding it – the vets bill thankfully wasn’t anywhere near the ridiculous amounts of money they’ve spent on this rather large PROBABLY.)  And we’re more likely to get our money’s worth in my lifetime anyway!  Big flipping Bang. Yeah, right. Ain’t that what the banks have been doing to us for the past several years?

Cynical, moi? Probably.

I confess. It was me. I found Higgs Boson. And swallowed it. It was very tasty thanks.

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About callyphillips
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